The family friend

Tom* terrorized my teenage years. He was a family friend. One very respected and loved by the family at large. He had a print shop where I learned to type using a typewriter. I even manned his shop once in a while until he got a girlfriend. He was so trusted by my family that he was the custodian of our house key which was shared amongst my siblings and I. He was short and with a pity me look, always!

At first, I thought that I was crazy and that I was making it up. But I wasn’t. Then I thought that it was my fault, I was provocative. But if you saw me in my teenage years, there was nothing close to provocative in the way I dressed. Then I simply decided that I would try to stay as far away from him as possible. But he came to us.

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My childhood home under reconstruction

You see, he had a chronic illness and since my mom worked at the national hospital, she would kindly pick up the prescriptions medicine for him. This meant that he had to come to our house to pick the meds after he closed his shop at around 8pm. We knew his timing and if my mother was not at home when the bell rang, my heart would sink immediately. Our house had a shared main gate and a long dark corridor leading to our house. When you opened the gate, he would reach out almost instinctively for the boobs. At first, I thought that it was because he was night blind. But then it happened over and over again despite my effort to hide behind the gate when I opened. Despite eventually having some light on the corridor.

I later found out that my sister had the same experience with Mr. Tom, he was a little touchy with her as well. We eventually devised a way of first checking who it was before heading out to the long dreary corridor. As soon as the bell rang, we would peep through our parent’s bedroom window and if it was him, we would send my brother to open the gate for him instead.

Mr. Tom died, a while later and I remember feeling a sense of relief. Everyone around us was sad because he was such a “nice man” but I was almost ecstatic of his demise. Glad that my youngest sister would never have to survive him.

For some reason, I couldn’t shake off this memory today so I wrote it hoping that it will leave me in peace.

To parents, you might not be aware that some of your friends make your children uncomfortable. Make sure to create a safe space for your children to share such experiences honestly.

*Not his the real name.

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How to get to Nedre Sydstup Kolsås using public transportation

Since Nedre Sydstup was rebolted by the Kolsås climbing club, it has become quite popular for beginners and intermediate level climbers. It is pretty easy to get to as well but I have always gotten lost every time I tried to reach the crag on foot. The past Tuesday, I nailed it and thought it would be nice to share my findings so that they can be searchable on Google for others.
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An attempt at drawing the path 😉
From the metro station, walk towards the tunnel. Follow the paved kolsåsstien path all the way to the end. Keep to the left at all the times. At the end of the paved/tarmac footpath, continue onto a dirt path until you come to the end, you will see some houses on your right-hand side. To know that you are on the right path, there should be a small stream flowing to the left and a small path into the forest on the right. Continue into this small path into the forest and walk along the fence on the left side. Do not get impatient, keep walking until you see an even smaller path leading to the crag. You will see the crag all along.
Enjoy the climb.

Worry

What a way to live life
A life where to escape worry
You plan a worry-free break away from
The normal worry life
Only to worry about how to spend the worry free time
And there after
Worry about how much it cost
Then
Go back to your normal worry life
Worrying about where and how to spend the next worry-free time
Life.

Love is war!

And I lost terribly.

After 6 months of ruminating on the same scene in my head, I still don’t know what the hell went wrong. No really, I don’t….

Actually, it was 8 months. 8 months of rumination. Time wasted.

4 years ago, I met Mr. Charming and fell head over heels. Moved across the ocean into his house (Stupid girl!). It was new, Scary, fun, strange, exciting, cold, cozy, lonely and all sorts of emotions.

For some reason blame myself. Must be some sort of grieving stage.

Then one day….

‘I can’t do this anymore’.

…..boom!

Oceans crossed, new language mastered and new reality accepted as norm then boom. “I can’t do this anymore.”

New language learnt, not mastered.

Puff, went my “New family”. Puff! Along with the “New friends”. Not even an “I heard what happened, I hope you are fine.” Puff! Went my security.

 

To be honest, I cut the rest of the article. It’s amazing how one can get fixated on an idea of perfect and even feel entitled to it. Nothing i write here will change the situation. However, it’s good to have some emotional release once in a while.

10.10.17
I accepted defeat!

Guess who´s back?

You are right. I´m back. I can’t believe the last post was in 2015 – 2 years ago.

Where have i been al that time?

In my comfort zone. Where i had enough love, enough money and enough time. Yes that is possible.

But now for the first time, i am alone. In my own house having to live with myself. Not easy but i love it. It is the first time ever, i am in full control of myself.

“Aren´t you alittle too old to be experiencing this for the first time,” you ask.

Well, yes. I lived with my parents for the first 20 years of my life, then university (with all sorts of roommates) and then 6 months of severe burn out/ undiagnosed depression then Norway – First with AIESEC and then with my Ex. But since i fucked up my perfect love, here i am all by myself.

It is the first time i am worried about the electricity bill – i make my breakfast in darkness to keep the save on the bill and no one but myself to clean the house for. I realised one thing, i am so spoiled. Super spoiled for a girl (woman) that grew up in Kayole. My parents are miracle workers for raising a diva out of 1960.

Anyway, maybe I will be back here soon or in another two years but in the meantime, know that i am busy growing up and visiting my friends cute babies.

Next post: Love is war!

Inshallah!